For You,

I fill my time with things to do 
and for a moment, I stop thinking of you 
Everything around me reminds me of those nights
Where the moon filled our hearts with love 

I look at the stars and remember 
Those memories come to me instantly 
The temptation of calling you gives me a hard time 
But every time I think of you , I know you are thinking of me too 

I like to imagine our hearts are together
Even though we are a thousand miles apart
I call it our world, where the skies are blue 
And I spend the days listening to your poetry 

Side by side, hand by hand
Usually we are in a big green field 
Where your voice soothes my mind 
And I feel your heartbeat just beneath my touch 

All those feelings go away 
Once I notice you are not here anymore 
My heart again, fills with lonesome 

Our love is something I can never explain
You asked me to write something 
You gave me a pen,a notebook and a goodbye kiss
But somehow, 
26 letters aren't enough to express how I feel about you

I keep remembering that night, 
Where you looked at me and smiled 
"I wrote you something" You said, kissing my hand 
The feeling of guilt came when I had nothing prepared

I still have a thousand days to write something 
But every time I think of you 
I end up smiling at a blank piece of paper

Illustration by: Fernanda Carrillo

Contact Information: 

Intagram: Fer_C 

Mail: FerCarillo@hotmail.com 

The Bitterness Of Suicide, Last Part

The Last Part

A few years have past and things have changed among them. After the funeral, he asked the best friend out, they stayed up all night talking and sharing. She learned so much from him and him from her. He understood things no one else could about life, love, destiny, desire and most of all about himself.

Finally, the boyfriend asked her best friend to marry her. She was suprised but she knew he was the love of her life.

After the engagement she disapeared. They found her sobbing and sitting at her best friend´s grave. He came closer to her and hugged her, she couldn´t look at him, she felt as if she had betrayed her.

"What´s wrong'" he asks giving her a kiss

"What if she would still be alive? Would you have asked me to marry you if she was still here? I was the first girl you saw after she died and I´ve been the only one since then. Do you really think we are doing the right thing? Becuase it doesn´t feel like it, It feels like she is disappointed on me, on us"

He started thinking about what she said, he knew she was right.

"Look at me" he says standing up and helping her. She couldn´t, she just couldn´t. Finally, she gave in and looked at him.

"Don´t ever think about the ¨what if¨ because that didn´t happen. She is not disappointed on you, she loved you, she wanted you to have the best and I can give you the best. You were the only girl I asked out after the accident and I have never been more grateful of my choices, you have to understand. We are not betryaing her, if she was still here I would´ve been with you anyway, because I believe in destiny. I believe you and I were meant to be. I regret the way we met because I had my eyes all swollen up and you had mascara ruined from all the crying. I have never felt so loved in my whole life and you did that for me. Instead of asking yourself what have happened think of how much I love you and want to be with you"

She was speachless, she knew it was true. She looked at him with love and gave him the most tender kiss ever, he felt happy to have her and he felt like he could comfort her.

So when she looked at his eyes and say "I do" in the asile, she felt her best friend by her side, supporting the newly weds. All she could think of was those last two words

"I´m sorry" although she wishes she could only change those two words to "Thank you"

Illustrated by: Pau Perezalonso 

Contact information:

Mail:  pauperezalonso@hotmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pau.perezalonso 

Psychosis

I look down at what seems to be a body lying dead beneath me, in my hand I hold a knife dripping with blood. I remember now, I was at my apartment when someone-Suzan- called, she told me about her sad life, she was sobbing. I tried to calmed her but she wouldn't listen instead, I just continued watching my daily dose of "Kitchen Nightmares" with Gordon Ramsay. I remember seeing the way he kept cutting  the pig who unfortunately, was about to be cooked; he sliced the knife with such elegance I wished I could've imitate him.

Then I heard something, Suzan told me those words in which I knew I had to do something.

"Just kill me" She said.

I grabbed my keys and went to her apartment, on my way out I grabbed the kitchen knife and sharpen it. I was thinking how I was going to slice open her chest and grab the heart with my own hands, still beating. I couldn't contain the desire she awaken within me.

I drived and drived until finally I arrived, she opened the door thinking I was there to comfort her. She turned around and went for a package of tissues, she blowed her nose; twice. She kept telling me her deepest sorrows then she told me to sit with her. I left my bag with the knife on the kitchen table and tried to calm myself. I listened to the whole story; her mother just died, her sister was a drug addict, her three year relationship just died and they fired her from work. That's not all, she had to pay the rent and had no money. I felt sorry for her, I really did.

I looked up and saw a gun sitting in her closet and immediately I thought about suicide. I couldn't let Suzan die, not this way. She kept repeating those words

"Just K I L L me"

I gave her a bottle of wine and some chocolate, we laughed and laughed. After a while, she fell asleep, i woke her up with the knife cutting her skin. She immediately reacted and walked to the living room, I was trying to keep her calm but she wouldn't listen.

"This is my gift to you; you will die honorably. Not through suicide" I kept yelling.

Eventually, I had to come for her. I told her to say hello to everyone in heaven. She started sobbing even more, I knew I had to do something quick, free her from the pain she was feeling. I gave her a kiss in the head and said my goodbyes. I imagined I was Gordon Ramsay slicing the pig's head, and for a moment I though of cooking her, but that would've been way too mean.

I just call the police and tell them everything, they soon arrive to the house and take me to prison. I smile and I know I did the right thing. I couldn't let her feel that pain, now she is happy in heaven. So in court if they ask why I did it, I will simply answer with the truth; I did my friend Suzan a favor, she asked me to kill her and so I did.

Illustrated by: Sebastian Davila 

Contact Information: artsebastiandavila@yahoo.com 

http://www.facebook.com/TheArtOfSebastianDavila 

http://www.flickr.com/people/artsebastiandavila/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/artsebastiandavila/

Winter *Illustrated*

Winter, that's all it is
Cold and grey winter,
The world said spring,
But my heart said winter

Empty and alone,
Winter said hello,
Cold air running through my veins
And in your absence
My heart shivers

In this coldest season,
The gloomy skies
Filled with melancholy
Keep me company

Then the sun ascends,
With you here
My soul defrosts
And my vision grows

But time pronounced
Only the death of those
Holding and keeping safe
The devotion towards love

The feeling of nakedness
Walks behind me
Leading me towards
The path, destiny prepared

And at the end winter holds me,
Chilling every inch of my body,
And keeping me from slipping away
With summer.

Illustrated by Camila Gomez Pimienta , thank you for being not only a sister but a friend.

If you'd like to contact the artist here is the information:

Mail: camigopi@hotmail.com

Facebook: Camila Gomez P. Orleansky

The Bitterness Of Suicide P3

Part 3

She knew what have happened because of him. He called her late at night, he thought he needed to and she was thankful for that. She was most of all angry, how could her best friend do something like this? They were supposed to be best friends, she was supposed to trust her everything.

She remembers the last time she saw her- they were on her house talking about life and she suddenly feels pain, how come she never noticed the cuts in her wrist?

She goes straight to her mother where she holds her trying to comfort her but she still feels shallow.

The next day she wears a little black dress to the funeral and she has prepared a speech. Before she goes up, the boyfriend of the dead one offers some words.

He takes the microphone and with a shy smile he begins.

"I remember when I first met her, she was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, she had her hair tied up in a  pony tail and she was reading "To Kill A Mockingbird". I kept thinking, how come this beautiful and mysterious girl be alone? And so I came up to her and offered her my world. I won't lie to you, I am very much sad but when I came earlier to her house I felt something- I felt her. I knew she wanted me to tell you that she is okay, that she decided to do this because she thought she had no other way. I have been thinking the past days of what happened and I can tell you that no one had the fault. I was the last person she saw and I feel proud about that, I feel proud because she gave me her last words.

I must say this is a tragedy- but instead of crying we should smile because we got the pleasure to meet her. Today I understood something I never thought I could"

She sits on the front row, waiting for her time to go up, but suddenly she takes a look at the casket and a tear comes running through her cheek. Flashbacks of her life with her best friend come to her mind, every moment they spent together like a movie only they could see. When the flashbacks are over she looks up and listens carefully.

"I sat in her bed and listened. Something strange happened, just as I was about to stand up-I heard something"

She waits for those words, looking up at the night filled with stars, she suddenly hears them

"I'm sorry"

She doesn't believe in ghosts or paranormal things but she felt like this was the most powerful whisper he must have heard. People in the crowd were crying or talking they seem shallow towards this two words, but her heart accepts them and she doesn't feel angry anymore. She stands up and looks at her dead body, she smiles at her and thanks her for those beautiful memories no one else has.

Fading Away

I stand in the dark
A shadow appears just above my feet
I feel the night, but somehow, I'm not afraid

The stars cast a special shine today
While the moon rests faithfully

My words beg me to listen
My mind tries to ignore them
A hissing sound rises from the corner
I know it's him who comes for me

He moves gracefully towards me
My eyes are trying to adjust to all this darkness
While my legs walk with clumsiness

A chilly breeze blows beside me
My body trembles

He founds me and embraces me
I take off my mask and so does he.
I look at him; knowing my predictions were right.

I kiss him one more time before
I put on my mask again

He tries to stop me, but I run.
I take one last look at what could have been my dream
All the candles blow out with my departure
I slowly disappear into the darkness, fading away like the wind.

 

Paradise.

The skies are filled with temptation
My feet are buried under the sand
And every time a wave comes I sink deeper

I hear a noise, a seagull is flying ahead of me
She elevates with elegance, moving her wings back and forward

I close my eyes;breathing the salty air
I see myself as her; floating above the sea
I lift up my arms, mimicking her and feeling like her

The world remains silent
Meanwhile my body relaxes as my mind clears
I feel peace

Suddenly a voice wakes me up,
He calls my name through the window
My body tenses with stress as my feet try to free themselves from the sand

The feeling of guilt comes back
As soon as I rinse myself I climb through the stairs,
He gives me a kiss

I look at the sea and remember how it felt like being a seagull and suddenly I realize my life as a seagull is way much easier than my real life. 

The Power Of Purple

I was wearing my purple dress for my aunt's wedding when I saw someone in the corner of my eye. A little boy was sitting in the lake, thinking. I told Patrick to wait for me and so I sat beside him. He gave me a look and continued kicking the water.

I just sat there in silence, thinking. He gave me peace- inner peace, it's amazing how calmed and relaxed I felt besides him and even though we didn't say a thing, I felt his energy. Suddenly our eyes met, his eyes were bright blue but inside of them I could see only one color- Purple.

I once read that ancient mythology explains how the color purple reflects peace and satisfaction. Patrick could see how relaxed I was so he went with my family, I took off my shoes and started kicking the water just as the little boy did. I sighed and forgot about the world. For a moment, everything was perfect.

The little boy suddenly left, I was so concerned about him leaving that I almost didn't notice the purple flower that was sitting right next to me. I didn't saw him again, but for those brief moments I am grateful. Later on my life got better ; whenever I had a problem I used to think about the little boy in the lake, my job had a certain stability and Patrick had just proposed (our wedding is in two weeks).

I like to think that little boy is my angel, he knew exactly when I needed him and so he made an appearance. Whenever I think of my aunt's wedding the only thing that comes to my mind is Purple.

Feeling Out Of Place

So yesterday I was surfing the internet when I found this awesome page called

 http://thewritepractice.com/ 

where I started to make my own writing workbook. The first exercise really caught my attention and it said: When have you felt out of place? Write a short story about it. So I did, I hope you enjoy it! 

Feeling out of place 

The sound of the coffee machine make me nervous, everything around me feels so unpleasant. I was waiting all day for him, he told me he would meet me at five pm, it's six. The lady sited next to me keeps chewing an old piece of gum; making a noise so loud that I'm trying not to kill her. 

My book keeps resting in my lap reminding me, that I need to study for a math test I have tomorrow. The waitress keeps asking me If I want more coffee but my mug seems to drain every second she's not here. 

The horrible smell of the person seated next to my table makes me want to throw up. Every time someone walks through the door I hope it's him, my head keeps track of the dirty words I have planned because of his delay. 

Finally, he walks through the door and unfortunately, he is not alone. A few guys from what seems to be a soccer team keep him company making me feel twice as awkward. He smells like an old bar and his clothes seem like he has been on a fight. He kisses me and introduces me to his friends, proud, he grabs my hand and flatters me. 

All his friends keep watching every movement I make. My stomach feels like I have had enough coffee and so I order the check. 

I am ready to go home and study when he takes my receipt and asks one of his friends for money, he pays my seven dollar bill. 

My mind can't believe this is happening, so I just thank the friend who actually paid and give him a hatred look. He begs me to stay but I reject him. He kept on saying things like "You are not worth it" 

That was the last time I ever saw him. 

When You Break Someone's Heart...

My heart was racing because I knew it was time for us to face the truth. It all started with a comment.

"Have you noticed you haven't been wearing my sweatshirt at all?"

I remained silent. He asked me to be completely honest with him and sadly, I was.

"My dearest friend,

When you break someone's heart for the first time you break your own. I haven't been completely honest with you but the truth is I am so tired of lying and postponing  what we know will happen. You told me to be honest with you so this is me trying. When we first meet I expected nothing from you but pure friendship and then we ended up being something more. I was so happy with the idea of having someone, I felt so lonely and I thought you were the solution but sadly, you were only an excuse. I am sorry for not telling you sooner but I just found out myself. I hope one day you can find someone who loves you just the way you loved me. I can't be the girl you expected me to be, but I hope one day you find that girl.

I wish you the best and it's time to let me go"

Words came out so naturally, so quickly. I guess my heart was the one who spoke that time. I didn't expected him to understand, I just expected him to move on.

It's not nice; breaking someone's heart, but as life everything happens for a reason. I have no regrets and I hope he doesn't either. Life will go on and I really do hope he is happy.

People often ask me what I felt during the relationship and with honesty I can answer that I felt- overwhelmed.  I won't lie to you, I loved him, I really did. But that love was lost, broken, my heart couldn't feel the same way. I miss him, but as I told him, I have to move on.

I really hope no one feels like this- Because when you break someone's heart, you break your own.

Funny Experiment

I went to a cruise with my family and my dad's wife has a son who I hadn't seen in 6 months, he writes poetry as well and he is always asking for criticism.

We were on the last night of the trip when we decided to write a poem together, each one wrote a sentence and it all came together in one big poem. If you really analyze it, it's amazing how we both have different ideas of what this poem might mean but at the same time it all comes together. Try to guess which sentences are mine and which are his.

I hope you enjoy it

Untitled 

We decided to make it new, we play with you. We tried to make it different, special. We had fish for food, for dinner, the sinner. Silently, we ate in shame, knowing we did the best we could. The water it used to swim in is now what washes him down, oh my sweet quarter pound. Heaven banned them both while hell accepted them with greetings. Fishy meetings between god and satan. Negotiating, which punishment will be adequate for the aberration they committed. They started fine but had fruity substances for deities and so finished seated. See satan she said in bed when the two canoodled in the nude, oh, when heaven and hell embrace their tales. One last choice; one last judgment where the rest of their soul's life was being determined. She will go to heaven, he will go to hell; they couldn't decide how. Instead, to settle de misunderstanding, both were sent straight to hell, where the dark one greeted them once again with pleasure. 

If you were wondering his name is Nicolas Polit, he doesn't have a blog but you can read his poems when they are published.

The Evil Part

There's a side of me, 
A side I will never understand
A side so dark that I'm afraid to explore

My right side tells me to always remain conscious  
But then my bad side tells to ignore it and to do it my way 

The bad side kicks in mostly at night where the dreams are lost and forgotten 
My nightmares come running for me, telling me to get lost with them 

My right side tries to save me but the nightmare are just to strong. They tell me to stop resisting the temptation and to live life without regrets. My right side holds into the idea of a new start, where everything is perfect. 

But then the bad side comes in and tells me there is no new start, there will never be a new start. 
My mind can't decide which side is the right one and which one is wrong. 

And just when I thought the bad side had me, 
The right side is still there somewhere