A Cupcake Full Of Happiness

We were walking on the way to the coffee shop when my friend spotted a cupcake store. I have to say i've never been so excited. We walked in and ordered, we both ordered two cupcakes and returned to the coffee shop to eat them. We sat down and ate them, we didn't say one word and we both enjoyed the silence. I looked to the window and saw people walking by, I imagined what kind of life they were living or why they were there.

Suddenly I noticed this guy sitting next to us, he was working so hard on his computer. I told my friend about him and she noticed him too, we were both pretty intrigued by the way he was working. After our cupcake and coffee break we sat there for a moment, thinking and reading.

Two other friends meet with us in the coffee house and I told them to save us our spot, my friend and I went for a walk. When we returned I saw the guy still working on his computer, we were about to leave when I told them to wait for me

"Excuse me sir, Would you like a cupcake?" I asked, remembering the second cupcake was still untouched.

He looked at me like I was a freak.

"No" he answered. My friend looked at me and hugged me, I started walking down the street with her when I saw a women sitting on the sidewalk, she was holding a big sign "Help me, I'm homeless" 

I smiled and my friend knew exactly what I was thinking. Finally, we arrived where she was.

I smiled at her and grabbed the cupcake from the box. "Would you like a cupcake?" I asked her, handing her the red velvet. I swear never in my entire life I've seen such a happy face, her eyes were glowing and she had a big smile on her face. She grabbed the cupcake and thanked me.

A tear sliped trough my cheek and I smiled with joy. A random women who was passing by saw this and smiled at me

"That was pretty great thing you did there Hun" I smiled at her. Thinking how that cupcake made that women so happy I started smiling and It made my day. It was one cupcake and one smile. I started remembering the little things in my life and I thanked everyone around me. I will never forget that day, in which one cupcake contained the happiness of that women in the sidewalk, the women who stopped by and saw this, my friend's happiness and most of all my own.

Wanderlust

She embraced the beauty of a new life
Her book remained on her lap while she thought of her trip
She always dreamed of exploring the world, but now
That dream was coming true.

Wanderlust. 
That's what they told her

Although she wasn't doing this to get away
She wanted to meet new people, new places

She moved her leg impatiently, waiting
The boy seated next to her smiled at her
But she was too busy to notice

He whispered something but she couldn't catch it
The lights from outside enlightened the notebook she was carrying
And the boy's eyes sparkled with love

He wrote a note and passed it to her
She ignored him and boarded the plane
He remained silent

She fell asleep the whole trip

She arrived and smelled a whole new place
Her soul filled with wonder
There was no question, she truly felt wanderlust. 

Small Poem

You are the sour remains of my lost soul
The expiration date recorded at the back of a gift card
You are the coffee stain on my new clothes
The feeling you get when you know tomorrow is monday

Stangely, you are also the light that shows me the path
The feeling of not having homework one cloudy afternoon
You are my breakfast in bed after a long night
The smell of wet grass and the sun rising

You are not only the light but the shadow
The math problem and the solution
You are the disease but at the same time you are the cure
The black color and the white one

My Ghostly Friend

The smell of fresh flowers wakes me up, 
I look at the clock next to my bed and I know it's time to get up, 
The cold water does a fine job and finally
I'm awake

A sudden whisper appears at back of the room
I smile and say hello
It's been a while since the last time I talked to him
I shiver 

The sparkling rays of sun let themselves in
I let them take over my cold body
He tries to impress me moving things 
I laugh and pick up the mess 

I tell him how much I miss him 
A red rose appears in  my lap 
I say goodbye and tell him to wait for me 
He smiles and opens the door

A blurry cloud passes through my window and I send a kiss. 

My day ends
I run to my room
I find him, sitting in my desk
I sit on the table and smile at him

The Worst Part

 I love you and I have no idea of what to do with it because you are not here anymore. t's amazing how crazy you made me feel, but the worst part isn't loving you, the worst part is knowing you love me too. So dear lover, break my heart. Tear me apart, tell me you don't feel the same about me, leave me alone and hopeless because all that is better than knowing that you want me and I can´t be with you anymore. With all this free time I do nothing but think about you, every song, every smell, every flower, every night reminds me of you.

So tell me what am I supposed to do with this feeling? I guess one of my biggest fears isn't loosing you; I already lost you, but never feeling this way about anyone. Maybe to society I´m just a girl but to him, I was her lover. I was the one who made him feel like he deserved more, I was the one who changed everything, the one who listened and understood. But  I´m just a sad memory, a sad story, a story without an ending. Maybe we´ll meet again, who knows. But for now, you are my never-ending lover. A lover who never begun and a lover who has no ending, because I know deep inside of me that out there you still think of me. I want you to know that not only I miss you but everyday you are not here with me a part of me dies.

Society

Since we were little society made us a certain way. Our parents used to tell us stories about a princess in need of a prince or about a frog who was kissed and transformed into a prince. We watched movies about love, read books and listened to stories. We grew up thinking a prince was going to come and save us, thinking how easy dreams were made and achieved. But we grew up only to be disappointed, life taught us that finding a prince is hard, that dreaming of a goal isn't enough to achieve it and most of all that love can be unattainable.

What if love is just an illusion? What if society made up this idea of loving someone so we could feel like life was worth living? I started to analyze my life and I found out I wanted to have a date or a boyfriend just because society demanded it. I am seventeen and I need to have a boyfriend, why? Because everyone else has one. Society keeps giving us clues of what we are supposed to do at a certain age not only with love but with life, at twenty two you need to have a job or at twenty eight you have to be engaged.

A few months ago I broke up with my two-month boyfriend, I realize I was with him not because I was lonely but because I felt happy society finally acknowledged me. Society saw me like someone who could love and be loved in return. What everyone finally told me was that I was worth nothing if I didn't have a boyfriend.

It's sad how little we have evolved, if you look back; society always changed everyone. You can't be gay because you are not worth it, you can't study medicine because you are too dumb, you have to be married in order to hang out with us... So to you I ask "What is wrong with us?"

I have to believe love is real. I have to believe there is a prince out there waiting for me, I have to. I need to. I need to believe this world is more than just bones and flesh, that there's more than just sadness and misery. I need to believe that love letters can still be written, that roses are a symbol of love, that first kisses still exist and most of all I need to believe you are out there.

I'd like to live in a place were my daughter feels safe to say she is gay or feel free to do whatever she wants. I'd like to live in a world where suicide disappears, where society accepts you no matter what.

So to you out there think for a moment before you judge, don't be scared if you are all alone it doesn't matter. Don't settle for less than you deserve, don't be afraid. Go to medicine school or art school or do whatever the hell you want, but do it with your heart.

To you out there, prove me I'm wrong. Prove me that love exists.

A Wall Not So Empty

I look up and find myself staring at an empty wall in my room with the caption "Trophies"

I let my body rest in the bed, the thin line between being a complete looser and a honored winner. 

A drop of water falls in front of my eyes and I know this is not what I expected from life. 

I explore every inch of my life and try to figure out what i've done to own this empty wall

Sad music plays in the room and I begin to feel depressed

My mom calls me for dinner but I tell her I'm not hungry, she instantly thinks I'm anorexic. 

That popular substance still runs through my veins and I try to recall what happened last night. 

I remember being on a party, everyone was drinking and having fun. I took some shots and suddenly I remember; that conversation. How could I forget? 

He was standing in front of me while I was trying to get to my friends, behind him my friends were making fun of him. I couldn't do anything but laugh and he just wasn't getting to the root of the conversation. 

"I'm disappointed on you" he tells me while I roll my eyes, every time is the same, he tells me how much I deserve but does nothing to fulfill me. I try to stay focused, after all those shots of tequila it's hard to keep my balance. A song plays in the back and I immediately feel the urge to dance. He holds me and makes me look at him. 

"Why are you so afraid of success? You had everything and suddenly you let someone else take the winnings? " I try to think but I can't. What is he saying? That I'm a coward? 

I say goodbye and go to my friends. I start dancing and I feel like crying. Later on, I dance with someone. He holds me, touches me and I feel safe. 

I return to the room with an empty wall. I am a coward. I am so afraid of success and so used to failure. I make a system and I keep my life together. Goals, Achievements, Dreams, Failures are some of the captions I create in my mind. All I can think is how empty that wall feels. 

I remember something; a prize. A badge at the top of my closet. I used to do horseback riding and I felt so good, I remember winning that medal many years ago. First place. 

I quickly run for it, it's still there, rusty and full of dust but still there. I let out a small weep and hold the medal close to my body. I run downstairs and find a nail. 

The green and golden prize rests against the wall. Hope is written all over it.

 I sit and look up, I no longer see an empty wall.